Day 11 - Penalty Post

Because Michelle has neglected to answer her topics for two days in a row, she now has to write about what I will call a penalty topic. Today's topic is: three paragraphs about all the wonderful things about Hayley.

Lame! But fine. I will indulge this topic. Because I like lists, I will write it in list format.

Hayley is wonderful, because:

1. She knows my most recent, deepest, darkest secret. She knows all of the sordid details. She can never unhear it or unknow it. She will know it forever! She knows that it involves a dude, pink panties, and some weird shit. Without giving it away, let's just say I called her first before I ever told Miguel. And that is something special. Consider yourself special Hayley. You get to know all the gross shit in my life.

2. She's my only non-relative friend who actually likes hanging out with Wally. She doesn't think his boogers are gross, she's willing to carry him when I refuse (which is all the time), and she once picked him up from day care so I could go on a shitty date. It seems at times that Wally likes her more than he likes his own mommy. When I pick him up from day care, that kid doesn't say "hi mommy, I love you!" or "I want to go home and eat your awesome home cooked meals." What he says is, "Where's Hayley? I want to go to Hayley's house." I'm counting on that when I go on more dates!

3. She's a motivator. When I was gorging on depresso McDonald's and being meepy over some guy, she acts as my H-Oprah. Motivational talks up the wazoo. I can't remember any of them, but they were all helpful enough to make me feel awesome at that moment. Ooh, and when I want to not go to spin or some exercise class, because I want to be lazy and watch a marathon of NCIS, she tells me "Oh nuh uhh," and picks my ass up to go to the gym. It helps that she lives just a 10 minute drive away, but it's great to have a friend so closeby.

So there we have it. Three brief paragraphs about how wonderful Hayley is.

- Pagtatapos -