Day 13 - I'm hungry

What if you could only eat fried cheese for the rest of your life?

Day 12 - I Said Nothing About These Being Consecutive Days

What was your best Halloween costume ever?

Sadly to say, I never really dressed up for Halloween. My WORST costume was a pair of red leggings, a green log sleeved shirt, slippers, and a JC Penney catalog. When people asked me what I was supposed to be, I said I was Santa's elf. Halloween is not my holiday.

Day 11 - Penalty Post

Because Michelle has neglected to answer her topics for two days in a row, she now has to write about what I will call a penalty topic. Today's topic is: three paragraphs about all the wonderful things about Hayley.

Lame! But fine. I will indulge this topic. Because I like lists, I will write it in list format.

Hayley is wonderful, because:

1. She knows my most recent, deepest, darkest secret. She knows all of the sordid details. She can never unhear it or unknow it. She will know it forever! She knows that it involves a dude, pink panties, and some weird shit. Without giving it away, let's just say I called her first before I ever told Miguel. And that is something special. Consider yourself special Hayley. You get to know all the gross shit in my life.

2. She's my only non-relative friend who actually likes hanging out with Wally. She doesn't think his boogers are gross, she's willing to carry him when I refuse (which is all the time), and she once picked him up from day care so I could go on a shitty date. It seems at times that Wally likes her more than he likes his own mommy. When I pick him up from day care, that kid doesn't say "hi mommy, I love you!" or "I want to go home and eat your awesome home cooked meals." What he says is, "Where's Hayley? I want to go to Hayley's house." I'm counting on that when I go on more dates!

3. She's a motivator. When I was gorging on depresso McDonald's and being meepy over some guy, she acts as my H-Oprah. Motivational talks up the wazoo. I can't remember any of them, but they were all helpful enough to make me feel awesome at that moment. Ooh, and when I want to not go to spin or some exercise class, because I want to be lazy and watch a marathon of NCIS, she tells me "Oh nuh uhh," and picks my ass up to go to the gym. It helps that she lives just a 10 minute drive away, but it's great to have a friend so closeby.

So there we have it. Three brief paragraphs about how wonderful Hayley is.

- Pagtatapos - 

Day 10 - Pretty Smart

Are smartphones making us dumber?

Yes. Plain and simple, yes.

Day 9 - Everyday is My Birthday because Bitches Love Cake

Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus, who is the baddest bitch?

Day 8 - First Day of School

Assuming you put careful thought into your first day of school outfit, which was your all time favorite?

This is moot. I went to Catholic school. Go rams!

But if I did have a choice, and actually got to pick what my uniform would look like, I'd pick something more flowy than that starchy stiff pleated plaid skirt and oxford striped shirt. Something like this:

Image courtesy of Teen Vogue

Alright, so it still looks a little school marm, but it's more fashionable. Girls in my HS definitely did not get to wear open toed shoes or stupid shit in their hair. But if I had a choice, I would wear the above outfit to HS every day. Ooh and the skirt would be different colors.

Now if I went to a public school, I'd opt for the more nerdier-but-sort-of-professional-not-really look. Layered tops that make no sense, short shorts, and some cute sandals. Like this one:

Image courtesy of Teen Vogue

However, this girl's got it all wrong. Although she's dressed cute, she doesn't have a backpack. Who goes to school with a tassled satchel too skinny to carry those back breaking science books? High school students don't buy e-books for their iPads. Most defintely not. I've also never seen a fashionably dressed high schooler. I've seen Berkeley and Oakland students, and they all don't look like this. It's a neon world Hayley, a neon world. So I guess, I'd be the most fashionable of the bunch if I showed up on the first day looking like the girl above. Most defintely would be the cutest one of the buch.

Seriously though, this is what I looked in high school (see below). Black, royal blue, maroon, or white polos with that damn ugly pleated skirt or khakis. It was not a fashionable place for me.

I believe this was when I was a junior in HS.

Day 7 - Week's End...

What was the best weekend of your life?

I would say almost every weekend I was in Taiwan was the best weekend of my life. One that comes to mind was in October 2009 during typhoon season in Southeast Asia. A warning was issued to the entire island for people to stay indoors as much as possible, and to avoid the beach areas. So being the adventurous, not-going-to-take-no-as-an-answer type of person, I made plans with a handful or so friends to go to Fulong Beach in Northern Taiwan.

It was hot in late September, so really we thought we were safe from any unexpected rainy weather. Taiwan is right above the Philippines for those of you who are geographically challenged, and so we thought it would always be hot and muggy there.

Boy were we wrong. The typhoon hit the Philippines and sort of dissipated into a tropical storm. It rained and rained the entire week leading up to our beach day, but we were all determined to get one trip in during the year to get our tan on.

When we arrived that Saturday morning by train, it was pouring and the wind was blowing cows and pigs. The resorts issued warnings to stay away from the shores, but didn't officially close down the beaches. My friends and I took that as a green light to test our luck. The following pictures illustrate what a bad, bad, bad idea that was.

We woke up really early to take this trip. We purchased our train tickets and there was no going back.

My close group of friends that dared to have a beach day even though it was raining outside.

The train ride was great. We got to see parts of Taiwan that we wouldn't otherwise get the opportunity to locked away studying in a university in Central Taipei. However, the view from the train made us anxious. This pic below doesn't do the weather justice. It was raining and the rivers were overflowing.

Rainy day, schmainy day. We were on a mission.

And when we got there, we all huddled under umbrellas and pushed toward the water. Who cares if there were signs warning danger? Who cares that there was absolutely NO ONE on the beach doing something crazy like us? We even made it to the edge of the water and dipped our feet in, before some surly security guard ran up to us and threatened to kick us off the beach if we didn't leave voluntarily. 

We pushed and pushed against the wind. I think a few umbrellas broke.

We actually expected to have a nice quiet picnic on the beach. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. It was raining so bad, that umbrellas were useless.

Yet, in the end this was the best, maybe most memorable, weekend I can think of. It was spent with friends in a foreign country and it was one of the first adventures I had that brought me closer to the below group of friends you see here.

Day 6 - Buy You a Drank

If you were an alcoholic drink what would you be and why? (You can't be a bay breeze)

Aw, what? No Bay Breeze!? That's mah drank! I mean, come on, look at how beautiful this thing is.

I guess if I had to be a drink I'd be a L'amour Moderne - passionate with a hint of bitter, beautifully made and balanced with sweet, tart, and bitter. It's also pretty in pink. I think I need to make this drink one day for that special guy who likes all those flavors rolled into one.

It's definitely a drink fit for a woman who's been through a lot.

If anything, I'd be this drink just because it has an awesome name, L'amour Moderne - modern love.

- Te Mutunga - 

Day Five - Caw-fee Tawlk

Is coffee good or bad for you?

Alright, so I'm a day late with this post. I'm not going to lie, I didn't want to answer this question. But I made that committment and I am going to do this... 

*sigh*

According to the Harvard School of Public Health, coffee can give you the shakes. It's also not good for pregnant women as it can increase blood pressure and blood sugar (duh!). It's also a diuretic and can make you feel dehydrated. Not to mention the caffeeine will make you bounce off the walls if you have too much of it.  

Coffee can also do this to you:

Addicted much? That's some crazy eye going on!

It can become an addiction. My office has a Kuerig machine, and the programmers there go through coffee like it was water. Hell, every morning I have to have the strongest brew of the darkest roast with very little cream and a whole boatload of sugar. Sugar + caffeeine makes Shelle go somethin' somethin'. 

On the other hand, one regular cup of coffee a day may be okay. Just don't go nuts (Hayley!) with the brew.

Day Four - Would You Rather

....be a Cyclops or a Yeti? and why (15 words or less)

A cyclops yeti, fo sho'. Check it:

No effort needed. Look how hard core this mofo is! I want to be a wizened yeti cyclops like this dude. I shall name him Harry Henderson. 

Why be one or the other, when you can be both? (11 words)

Day Three - Taco Wednesday

How would you describe a taco to someone who had never had one before Warning: Not safe for work

Hayley obviously had tacos on the brain and we went to Taco Bell after spin class today. I am ashamed.

Taco

Urban slang for a woman's vagina. 

*Drops the mic and walks away*

In all seriousness. It depends on if you're talking to someone who wants a Mexican taco or an American taco (this is sounding dirtier as I type).  Mexican tacos are yummy, small, round tortillas topped with meat, cilantro, onions, and a squirt of lime with hot sauce. Fold that sucker up and stick it in your mouth.

An American taco, well an American taco is seriously yummy crunchy goodness and looks like this:

A standard American taco. 

I googled taco pictures and came across this:

The fug?

No clue why that taco is derping, or why it has eyes, a mouth, and teeth. Scratch that. Tooth. If your taco has a face, drop it quickly and back away slowly. Don't ever, I repeat, EVER, walk away from a taco with a face with your back turned. You may end up with a taco trying to eat you.

Another taco to avoid is this one:

This taco is eating... a burrito? Playing football with a burrito? Jerking off a burrito? What the hell?

Really have no idea why anyone would draw a picture of a fucked up taco with a burrito between it's taco legs. Ohhhh, I get it. It's a taco with a burrito between it's legs. I'm walking away before this post gets too perverted. Tacos, burritos, soon we'll be talking about churros. Que loco, churros.

- La Fin - 

Day 2 - I Thought I'd be More Inspired

What is the most inspirational moment you've ever witnessed?

Moments of inspiration happen all the time. Most of the time when I'm driving or on the toilet. I hate it when I get inspired on the can. However, these moments of inspiration have led to better work ethic, travels all over Asia, and even the birth of my awesome son.

If we're talking inspiration to be a better person, then one moment easily comes to mind. I recently heard a talk by Mike Robbins. The main message and largest takeaway from his talk: be yourself, everyone else is already taken. Simple as that. Below are a few tennets of Mike's speech.

Nothing changes unless I do. If I can't stand that I get into horrible relationships with men, then what is it about me that I can change to attract someone who'll treat me like a real woman? If I feel fat and can't fit into my clothes, then I need to change my diet and exercise.

Focus on the good stuff. Life is great. I have an intelligent, and well-spoken son. I can afford to put food on the table. I have caring friends. And I can do pretty much anything I put my mind to. Life is good, because I appreciate every moment of it. I've come pretty far to get to my happy place. I'm keeping it that way.

It would benefit me to give myself permission to make mistakes. How else would I know how to be good at what I do unless I fuck up? I fuck up a lot, but I know that if I don't go for it, whatever "IT" is, I'll never know how to be better at something.

This is Mike Robbins. I swear this is what he looked like EXACTLY when he inspired me to be a better person.

These things above seem painfully obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people find this eye-opening. You'd be surprised by how many people refuse to change themselves, focus on the good things, and make mistakes.

Today is Day 1 of a Long Journey

The year is 1843 and you're on the Oregon Trail when your oxen die fording a river. What do you do? (You're the banker)

First off, why would I ever be on the Oregon Trail? Damn oxen! Weak! Weak, I tell you!

Secondly, I actually have never played this game, so this is a foreign language to me. Why would a banker be trekking across the wilderness on the Oregon Trail? Wouldn't (s)he wait until... well, I guess if you want to make your fortune in some new town, you wouldn't wait.

If it was the real Oregon trail and all the oxen died for some reason, I'd be screwed. Maybe I'd settle down in that spot and open up a bank and sell parcels of land to people who come through and want to settle too.

Yes, this is what I would do.

- The End -